Couples Therapy With Stef
Learn To Live Relationally
Convenient online therapy or domestic/international coaching sessions.
For a free 15 minute phone call, please fill out the contact form below.
I practice Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a direct, instructive, educational approach that helps couples stop fighting the same fight and start showing up as adults in their relationships. RLT is a type of therapy in which “taking sides” means standing for the health of the relationship rather than remaining neutral, while actively supporting accountability and joining through the truth to shift dysfunctional dynamics so recurring fights become less frequent and repair and connection becomes more frequent. Adults of all ages and sexual orientations are welcome.
Core Concepts:​
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Loving Accountability: RLT is direct and compassionate. Each partner learns to take responsibility for their behavior and its impact without shame, excuses, or blame. This is how stuck cycles end and real change begins.
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Radical Honesty: We work on telling the truth clearly, respectfully, and without attack or collapse. RLT helps partners say what needs to be said so the relationship can move forward instead of staying stuck in avoidance or escalation.
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Repair Is Non-Negotiable: Disconnection happens. What matters is repair. Couples learn how to own their part, make meaningful amends, and restore trust after conflict.
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Boundaries with Backbone and Heart: No more accommodating, controlling, or checking out. RLT teaches partners how to set boundaries while staying engaged, honoring self-respect, and the relationship.
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Family of Origin Patterns: We identify the adaptive survival strategies you learned early such as entitlement, withdrawal, compliance, aggression, and how they now undermine intimacy. What once protected you may now be costing you connection.
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From Adaptive Child to Wise Adult: Couples learn to recognize when old protective stances are running the show and how to return to emotional adulthood and responding with intention instead of reactivity.
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Building a Relational Culture: RLT helps couples replace power struggles with mutuality, empathy, and shared responsibility. This is about creating a relationship grounded in equality, teamwork, and real partnership.
The Phases of Relational Life Therapy
Waking Up the Client
Through compassionate, no-nonsense confrontation, we name the behaviors and survival strategies that are costing you closeness and joy.
Inner Child Trauma Work
Next, we do focused inner child work—addressing old wounds in real time, with your partner present, to build empathy and deepen understanding.
Relational Skills Building
We then teach concrete relational skills to interrupt destructive cycles, handle conflict with care, and build real closeness.
​ABOUT STEF
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M.S. in Psychology, University of Massachusetts, Boston
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In private practice since 2015 with over ten years expertise in trauma therapy.
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Trained in Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Levels 1-3 for couples and individuals
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Certified EMDRIA
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Former therapist at Life Healing Center, Santa Fe, NM, a premier residential trauma and co-occurring disorders treatment center
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Specialties include trauma, co-occurring disorders, Bipolar Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Adult Children of Dysfunctional Homes
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Experience working with teens, adults, & older adults
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Trained for the Olympics for eight years in swimming
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Long-time Zen Buddhist meditation practitioner (since 1997), with training at Soho Zendo (NYC) and Upaya Zen Center (Santa Fe)​
Stef Schumacher MS LPC EMDR
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Session Rate
Private Pay
250.00 per 1 hour session.
(125.00 per person)
This rate reflects over a decade of specialized training and clinical experience in trauma and psychiatric disorders. This is not passive therapy. We work directly and efficiently, focused on real change and real repair—not endless processing. Doing RLT with me is an investment in yourself and your future, regardless of whether your current relationship survives. You will learn your adaptive stance and how to shift it, how to relate to your inner child from your wise adult mind, and how to show up in relationship with accountability, clarity, and emotional maturity—for life.
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